Onion-theories!

I have a theory. Its like this. The high school wall flower always marries the most popular guy in high school! Even more shocking, that nerd in your class – gap-tooth and thick-as-a-wall glasses – will almost certainly date that pretty blond girl whom you always wanted to ask out but never got the vocal chords to cooperate. ( I hate long sentences!)

I am serious, really. This is not a joke. Go for your high school reunion and you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Look at any successful, handsome (remember, your idea of ‘handsome’ is not what it used to be in high school), confident businessman/doctor/scientist/professor, with a beautiful, smart wife. One look and you might think that he was what he is, since the day he was born. Ask him, and he will tell you differently.

He would have been too clever for his class, too geeky for his friends (if he had any), too weird in the eyes of his own parents, and described as too weak or sickly in the doctor’s file.

One closer look, though, if anyone at all had bothered to indulge, would have shown greatness that could rock a high school kids idea of ‘cool’.

He would invariably have possessed the right amount of sense ( a rare thing, indeed), skill, knowledge and street smart-ness to make it as a “successful, handsome. confident man with a beautiful and smart wife”.

The wall flower, not to be outshone, would have bloomed into this gelled-hair,-swept back into a severe knot- smart as hell-top of the corporate/organizational ladder-men eating out of her hands-kind of business woman/teacher/stock broker/lawyer/doctor or any professional she chooses.

And she will attract a handsome, moderately smart, totally devoid of streetsmart-ness, ex-most-popular-guy-in-high school-guy who gets pushed around now in the big bad world where ‘he ain’t no high-school superstar no more’ because he needs someone to tell him “he can do it”. He will approach her because he mistakenly thinks that she was this beautiful and successful all her life. She will accept him, because she can’t believe a handsome guy actually wants to be with her.

Sometimes, just sometimes, a geek-turned-successful professional and a wallflower-turned-successful professional will cross paths, eventually arrive at love (they never fall in love, they never ‘fall’), and decide – with minds analyzing the pros and cons of such a decision, and trying to comprehend the unfamiliar emotions welling up – to stay together for a very long time. Such relationships have the potential for greatness, real greatness, maybe like the Curies.

Disclaimer: This is only a theory that has been partially researched using limited knowledge. the sample universe is a motley group of individuals that do not represent the human race in its entirety. The data is skewed and the results are highly debatable. Consequentially, the derivations are fallible and may be deconstructed to nothing, just like onions. People who were popular in high school are not to assume that it is directed at them. The not-so-popular others also need not take offense, although anyone fitting the favorable descriptions in the above post are encouraged to gloat, brag, and generally burst at the seams with pride while secretly laughing at those unfavorably portrayed. (Today is ‘be mean day’).

Sigh…today has been a day of long sentences…. I have a theory… long sentences usually stem out of suppressed feelings resulting from traumatic events experienced at high school… hmm, must research that.

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