Of Morning Walks and Monologues…

I walk to work everyday (the most misleading thing I have said all day!). And when I say ‘walk to work’, I don’t mean a brisk 1-mile trudge that keeps me healthy and fit, and looking 10 years younger. Nope. The daily morning walk to work takes me a measly 8 minutes!! Totally not beneficial.

So, anyway, I walk ‘briskly’ every morning, and I’m usually having a happy, interesting conversation with someone….usually myself 😦

And this is how it goes…

“Okay, hon, stepping out right now…you’re already late…you have 8 minutes to clear an 8 minute distance….Are you going to do this? Hmm…we’ll see…walking. walking. walking. step. step. step. looking good baby! Walk, walk, walk….

OOOUUUCChhhhh! What was that?…Something went ‘click’ in my knee! Okay, ignore it, keep going…Limp, limp, limp….ok, better now…walk, walk, walk…

Oh cripes. There’s the Cake shop across the street! Mmmm…nice smells…yummy smells…

(looking at watch) Do I have time to step in for a quick purchase? Okay, Do I NEED the extra calories?? No, and No…for God’s Sake Jane, NO!! Geez!

Okay, walk, walk, walk, walk…TRIP! Shucks! Who put the stones in the way?!?!

Okay, nothing happened…no one saw you hon..keep walking, keep walking…you have time…(looking at watch) OH CRAP! I have only 3.5 minutes…where did all the time go, darn it?!?!?!

Okay, keep walking…no ditch that…I think it’s time you started running! Oaky, run, run, run…”Run, Forrest, Ruuunnn!” Okay, grow up…Do you really need the “Forrest Gump reference now?!?!

Ooh, nice new shirts on display at the Men’s Clothing store on the way!…Hmph! Ignore it! Stupid stuck up clothing store…probably too expensive! Sour grapes…blah, blah…

Oh good, finally at the office building…(looking at watch [for the umpteenth time, even though it does NOT help!!]) Oh cripes…1 more minute…

Okay hon, now you have to climb 4, Four, FOUR floors…Sheesh people, lifts were invented for a reason, you know..Anyways, it’s the only exercise you get all day!! so, CLIMB already!!

Climb, climb, climb, no..scratch that…RUN, run, run…

What the…people walking up the steps are getting there faster than me! Shucks.

Run, run, run…GASP, GASP, GASP!! Run, run, drag your feet, stomp, stomp…..crawl, crawl, craaaaawwlllll……Wheeeezz, wheeezz, wheeezzz….cough, cough!

(Drumroll and trumpets blaring) I MADE IT, I MADE IT…YAAAAY!!!! And heck, I have 5 minutes left on the clock!!!!!

“WHAT?!?!?!?!?”, you ask?

Well, this is precisely why I set every, and I mean EVERY clock 10 minutes ahead, so that I think I start out 10 minutes early, and half way through I think I’ll be on time, and then I assume that I am already 5 minutes late…and PANIC…and when I reach, It’s a nice surprise to know I am 5 minutes early!!!

Now ain’t that wonderful…fine and dandy!!………………………………….

……………..Aw, shucks….sometimes I don’t even recognize myself….!

Somebody bring back the 20 year old Jane back, please!

What I wanna be…

What I really am…

HELLPPP!!!!!

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Twitter Hop Thursday!

Hey guys! I love linky parties…they are the single most effective reasons to get me to write something in this space!!! Now, that’s a compliment to all the linky parties out there, but I don’t think it says anything nice about my blogging skills!

Anyway, I found this Twitter-hopping linky party the other day, and am absolutely thrilled with it.

What is a Twitter Hop Thursday? Well, a bunch of bloggers host this linky party where everyone gets to enter their twitter handle/username. You get to follow many fun twitter users, and…get this…they follow you right back!!

Superb way to get more followers!!

So, Twitter Hop Thursday is hosted by Simply Stacie, The King’s Court IV, Little Yaya’s, and Review Retreat. All great women, with wonderful blogs (their blog layouts are awesome…I want too!), and to-die-for giveaways. Check them out! Oh, and they always follow you right back, on Twitter! how cool is that??!!!

So, head on over to Simply Stacie’s blog here, and get yourself the code, this here cute button, and linky code etc. I am no good at all this code and stuff, and after several frantic bouts of copying and pasting, I have not been able to make the linky thing appear on this post….HELP!!! Somebody….!

Aaaanyway, have fun Twitter hopping, you guys!