Defeating the Purpose of the Teddy Bear!

Okay, this morning, when I read this article, I essentially felt a sense of hopelessness in this world, and all I can say right now is, “Heck, I’ve seen it all. I should just roll over and die now! It can’t get worse than this!”

“Stop. What are you ranting about?” You ask.

Well, this…THIS!!! Go ahead and read the article if you have the morbid fascination and the stomach for this sort of thing….

If, for some reason, people take pride in this sort of thing, then this image is from

For the love of all that is dear to mankind, where the heck is this coming from?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I thought cuddly toys are just for little kids to snuggle with! The teddy-bear-lover in me feels violated when soft toys are incorporated into horror movies. It’s even worse when children become horror objects in these movies. That “Chucky’s Back” crap was the worst…or so I foolishly thought! Now this!

Already, I feel nervous that Debbie is taking her teddy-bear too seriously – talking to him all the time about her school, reading him her books and singing him her rhymes, and the worst yet, crying to him when she gets told off by one of us!! I HATE that!

And, can I just say, that I HATE, DETEST, and am totally and irrevocably repelled by Mr. BEAN! I mean, what is the deal with that jerk? People, please, please, for the sake of the mental stability of your children when they reach their 40s, don’t let them watch Mr.Bean…PLEASE!

That show is utter crap! All that nudity, innuendos, and the sheer stupidity and crassness of the man. And I am not even talking about the real show! I am talking about the animated series that is meant for little kids!!!And he has taught my daughter how to talk to her teddy bear.

If you see this man, you have my permission to shoot at sight! With a gun, and real bullets.

You are probably now asking me, “Woman, why don’t you just turn off the television, and be done with it? Stop the whining already!” Well, I am working on it. I really am. I feel ashamed with myself for letting things get this far….You see, this show comes around Debbie’s dinner time, and she will not let one morsel of food get past her lips if she is not watching this crappy show. And after I deal with 30 minutes of copious tears, the worst case of 3-yr-old tantrums, and the highest pitched screaming in the world, I usually cave in, because I just don’t want my already skinny child to go to bed on an empty stomach….


So, this post, which started as a rant on cuddly toys with mental disorders has come down to a plea for help to all moms on the internet. Someone, please advice me on how I can wean my daughter off her soft toy (and her incessant thumb-sucking, while you’re at it!), and this stupid Mr.Bean animated series.

I’m waiting for your advice in the comments section. HELP, someone!


6 Responses to “Defeating the Purpose of the Teddy Bear!”

  1. Ameena

    Mr. Bean is absolutely an idiot…I don’t get the attraction of a strange man and his bizarre humor. I just don’t get it!

    I am not an expert by any means but my suggestion is that you just have to stick to your guns and know that a few days will be hard, but eventually your daughter will learn that the TV doesn’t go on during meal times. You must not cave!

    I have no problem being a dictator but you are obviously a much gentler and better parent, hence why this is so hard for you. 🙂

    You can do it!! I promise.

    • Jane Pauline Hamilton

      Thanks Ameena! I don’t know if I am a better parent, but I certainly am a lost one!! 😛 Anyway, thanks a lot for the advice. Maya is wonderful, so you must have done something right!

      Yeah, I have been pretty adamant with ‘No Mr.Bean’ and ‘No teddy-bear+thumbsucking’ for the past 2 days, and it’s been a little hard. But tantrums or not, this is going to be my mantra – “You Must Not Cave”. Best parenting advice. EVER.

  2. Karen Xavier

    oh wow, never knew the animated series was that crass… kinda sad that they are creating such stuff for kids. She will probably grow out of it, I guess… no idea how to wean her away. And really crazy stuff, those stuffed dolls… lots of jobless people out there in the world.

    • Jane Pauline Hamilton

      Yeah, update: I somehow got her to stop watching Mr.Bean…now we watch Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck cartoons on YouTube instead :/ eh…you win some, you lose some…I keep telling myself, ‘wait till she’s 4’.

      But, Yipppeeeee! Totally weaned her off the teddy bear and thumbsucking!! My grand total of one (1) achievement as a mother…So…

  3. Karen Xavier

    I’ll come to you for parenting advice when I have kids 😉

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