Defeating the Purpose of the Teddy Bear!

Okay, this morning, when I read this article, I essentially felt a sense of hopelessness in this world, and all I can say right now is, “Heck, I’ve seen it all. I should just roll over and die now! It can’t get worse than this!”

“Stop. What are you ranting about?” You ask.

Well, this…THIS!!! Go ahead and read the article if you have the morbid fascination and the stomach for this sort of thing….

If, for some reason, people take pride in this sort of thing, then this image is from Metro.co.uk.

For the love of all that is dear to mankind, where the heck is this coming from?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I thought cuddly toys are just for little kids to snuggle with! The teddy-bear-lover in me feels violated when soft toys are incorporated into horror movies. It’s even worse when children become horror objects in these movies. That “Chucky’s Back” crap was the worst…or so I foolishly thought! Now this!

Already, I feel nervous that Debbie is taking her teddy-bear too seriously – talking to him all the time about her school, reading him her books and singing him her rhymes, and the worst yet, crying to him when she gets told off by one of us!! I HATE that!

And, can I just say, that I HATE, DETEST, and am totally and irrevocably repelled by Mr. BEAN! I mean, what is the deal with that jerk? People, please, please, for the sake of the mental stability of your children when they reach their 40s, don’t let them watch Mr.Bean…PLEASE!

That show is utter crap! All that nudity, innuendos, and the sheer stupidity and crassness of the man. And I am not even talking about the real show! I am talking about the animated series that is meant for little kids!!!And he has taught my daughter how to talk to her teddy bear.

If you see this man, you have my permission to shoot at sight! With a gun, and real bullets.

You are probably now asking me, “Woman, why don’t you just turn off the television, and be done with it? Stop the whining already!” Well, I am working on it. I really am. I feel ashamed with myself for letting things get this far….You see, this show comes around Debbie’s dinner time, and she will not let one morsel of food get past her lips if she is not watching this crappy show. And after I deal with 30 minutes of copious tears, the worst case of 3-yr-old tantrums, and the highest pitched screaming in the world, I usually cave in, because I just don’t want my already skinny child to go to bed on an empty stomach….

Sigh….

So, this post, which started as a rant on cuddly toys with mental disorders has come down to a plea for help to all moms on the internet. Someone, please advice me on how I can wean my daughter off her soft toy (and her incessant thumb-sucking, while you’re at it!), and this stupid Mr.Bean animated series.

I’m waiting for your advice in the comments section. HELP, someone!

Microwave Brownies… And my Baking Debut!

Posted On August 30, 2010

Filed under Food
Tags: , , ,

Comments Dropped 6 responses

My mother bakes the best cakes I have ever had. She is one of those rare people on the planet who can taste food and figure out the recipe all on their own. I think 99.9% of those people are master chefs!!! Okay, you guessed right…I am really proud of my mom and her culinary skills. I would also like to point out that my culinary skills are…well…no where in sight, so far!

The closest I ever got to a baking dish is when I dig in to my mom’s Dates Cake! (will get you the recipe soon) However, I decided that, having a chocolate-loving daughter, this state of affairs could not go on for very long! And, I have been craving brownies from the time I knew they existed. The local bakery sells brownies, but I came very close to asphyxiation when I tried them!!! I want to live, people!

And then, there is the fact that I have no oven…yes, I know, I sound like the pathetic soul that I am… But I do have a microwave!! Yaaay! So…

I Googled, found, learnt, revised, and etched into my memory…this recipe:

MICROWAVE BROWNIES

(Caps lock deliberate to indicate awesomeness!) This is my first attempt at baking, EVER. So, cheer me on, okay?

This is a small serving, but you can double it and it works out just fine, as I found out yesterday. I first made these 2 weeks ago, and the pictures are from that attempt.

Things you need: (Basic, non-fancy-schmancy stuff will do for this brownie! And that’s good, because, duh, I live in Nagercoil…)

1/2 cup flour (maida)

1/2 cup cocoa powder (Note for folks in Nagercoil 😛 – I used the Cadbury cocoa powder that is available in a purple tin in local shops)

1 cup sugar (best to use powdered sugar, because the granules take a heck of a long time to dissolve in the butter – not good. If you don’t have powdered sugar, just powder the sugar you have, in your grinder/food processor!)

1 & 1/2 stick of butter (I used the Amul salted butter)

2 eggs

2 tsp vanilla essence

Chocolate chips (So not optional, but I could not find this wonderful blessing anywhere in this town, and I had to do without it…*sniff*)

Chopped Nuts – any kind. I used cashews and almonds

Method:

In a bowl, mix the cocoa and flour well so that both have blended in.

Soften butter and mix the sugar in with it, until soft and creamy.

Add the 2 eggs and whisk till soft and blended in well. You can add the vanilla essence too.

Now, add the dry ingredients very gradually into the liquid mixture (one tbsp at a time) and keep stirring till your arms fall out! Or, if you are lucky like me to have a sweet, patient sister, get her to stir while you casually stand by and add the dry ingredients!! 😛 Better, yet, use a hand-held or table-top mixer.

When the entire batter has been stirred well, pick the bowl up and sniff the awesome aroma of the entire thing. “People” have been known to eat a finger-full of batter right off the bowl…but that’s just “people”! You don’t have to do that…or you could, if you want to…*hint, hint*

Now, grease a round (or rectangular) glass baking dish* with butter, and sprinkle it with powdered sugar. I did not have powdered sugar, so I just powdered up some butter cookies that I had and lined the baking dish with it, over the butter! And it rocked!!!

*Use only glass dishes that are meant for microwaves. NEVER use metal, unless you plan to blow up your microwave oven!!

Now, just pour the batter into the baking dish. You might have to spread the batter equally to all parts of the baking dish, because sometimes the batter can be on the thicker side.

Now, stick it into your microwave and set it on high, and set the timer for 10 minutes.

I would strongly suggest that you take a peek at the 7th or 8th minute to check on things. Take a toothpick and insert it into the center of the brownie. If it comes out clean, it’s done. If there is almost-cakey batter stuck on it, you need it to go on for the remaining time.

There’s no hard-and-fast rule here. If after 10 minutes it still looks suspicious, give it another minute of baking.

At the end, let it sit in the oven for a few minutes. Then take it out and cool it completely, because warm brownies refuse to let go of the baking dish. They still want their mommy!

When cooled, eat the whole thing up without sharing…Oh, sorry…bad advice!!

When cooled, cut out a piece, place it on a small plate, top with vanilla ice cream and a cherry (optional)….eat and go to heaven!

Then come back and tell me how it was. Okay?? This part is NOT optional! Come one, I want to know how yours turned out!

This is the chewy, moist variety of brownie that I love! I am so not into the dry-cake kind of stuff…

Not the best picture possible, but it was after 10pm and I was not at my most patient self….

…as is obvious from this picture!

Wasn't me!

Anyway, she loved it… that’s what’s important.

Unresolved Hair Issues!

Posted On May 7, 2010

Filed under Debbie, Humor
Tags: ,

Comments Dropped 2 responses

Remember the discussion on Debbie’s hair we had the other day… well, apparently, there is a shift in perception of late…

Today morning, I looked at Debbie’s hair, and patting the wild curls, I asked her, “What is this, baby?”

With a wide grin of amusement (perhaps she anticipated my reaction!), she uttered these words of wisdom, “Amma, this is noodles!”

Wide grin of amusement:

Go figure…

Next Page »