Defeating the Purpose of the Teddy Bear!

Okay, this morning, when I read this article, I essentially felt a sense of hopelessness in this world, and all I can say right now is, “Heck, I’ve seen it all. I should just roll over and die now! It can’t get worse than this!”

“Stop. What are you ranting about?” You ask.

Well, this…THIS!!! Go ahead and read the article if you have the morbid fascination and the stomach for this sort of thing….

If, for some reason, people take pride in this sort of thing, then this image is from Metro.co.uk.

For the love of all that is dear to mankind, where the heck is this coming from?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I thought cuddly toys are just for little kids to snuggle with! The teddy-bear-lover in me feels violated when soft toys are incorporated into horror movies. It’s even worse when children become horror objects in these movies. That “Chucky’s Back” crap was the worst…or so I foolishly thought! Now this!

Already, I feel nervous that Debbie is taking her teddy-bear too seriously – talking to him all the time about her school, reading him her books and singing him her rhymes, and the worst yet, crying to him when she gets told off by one of us!! I HATE that!

And, can I just say, that I HATE, DETEST, and am totally and irrevocably repelled by Mr. BEAN! I mean, what is the deal with that jerk? People, please, please, for the sake of the mental stability of your children when they reach their 40s, don’t let them watch Mr.Bean…PLEASE!

That show is utter crap! All that nudity, innuendos, and the sheer stupidity and crassness of the man. And I am not even talking about the real show! I am talking about the animated series that is meant for little kids!!!And he has taught my daughter how to talk to her teddy bear.

If you see this man, you have my permission to shoot at sight! With a gun, and real bullets.

You are probably now asking me, “Woman, why don’t you just turn off the television, and be done with it? Stop the whining already!” Well, I am working on it. I really am. I feel ashamed with myself for letting things get this far….You see, this show comes around Debbie’s dinner time, and she will not let one morsel of food get past her lips if she is not watching this crappy show. And after I deal with 30 minutes of copious tears, the worst case of 3-yr-old tantrums, and the highest pitched screaming in the world, I usually cave in, because I just don’t want my already skinny child to go to bed on an empty stomach….

Sigh….

So, this post, which started as a rant on cuddly toys with mental disorders has come down to a plea for help to all moms on the internet. Someone, please advice me on how I can wean my daughter off her soft toy (and her incessant thumb-sucking, while you’re at it!), and this stupid Mr.Bean animated series.

I’m waiting for your advice in the comments section. HELP, someone!

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Posted On March 15, 2010

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