Of New Friends and ‘First Times’…

I never thought I would ever say this, but here it goes, “I guest-blogged this week”…Oh no wait, that was the wrong font… People, I GUEST-BLOGGED this week!!!!!! ….Okay, that’s better… whoa! how did that happen…? Flashback..scene fade…

It was two weeks ago, that I registered myself into 20SomethingBloggers… I know, that was like saying, “Yesterday I watched Titanic the movie”…(sometimes I come across as being pathetically ancient, and I am totally aware of it…). Anyway, I was immediately given a warm welcome by a couple of really sweet bloggers who introduced themselves, and even read my blogs…That’s where I met the lovely Charreah Jackson who writes an interesting blog on love at Love Jones Lane. (Visit her sometime, she has some cool stuff to say about love and marriage, and why they drive us crazy!)

Here’s where it gets exciting! She visited my blog, and actually asked me to write a guest post for her blog, on Love and Marriage in India!!! Okay, I think I need to go easy on those exclamation marks!!! So, I was like, ‘Really? Is this happening to me?!!’ Anyway, as she says, “Believing is half the battle”…. so, I wrote a post, and hoped I didn’t disappoint her terribly, and emailed the write-up to her…

Turns out she liked my post enough to actually put it up right there, along with her other posts. She also said some nice things about me, that are totally undeserved! So, go on over to her blog, and read my post entitled, “Marriage in India – I Chose Love”.


Help Me…I Am Wonder Woman

India is a land of wonder women – women born with the sound of their mothers whispering into their ears about the nobleness of sacrifice and compromise, of forgetting one’s own comfort and living for one’s husband, children, in-laws relatives, family and society. The Indian woman grows up thinking she exists for the very convenience of those around her. My Indian sisters who disagree with me are either painfully naïve or are part of the uppermost echelons of society that miraculously believe in equality of the sexes. For those on the lower rungs of the ladder, equality is a luxury they can’t afford.

At the lowest rung of this ladder made up of miserable women, are the ‘manual scavengers’, their very classification a testimony to the detestable prejudice of the caste system that they are victims of. Women forced to collect human excreta from dry latrines in order to earn a few rupees which will buy their children food.

Mahatma Gandhi, that revered man who has posthumously progressed to the greatness of a god, called them the ‘harijans’ – people of ‘hari’ or god. What he called them showed what he really thought of them – untouchables. ‘Achooth’ – a word that, perhaps, has its roots in the very upper caste Mahatma’s own prejudices. Yet, I am only speculating.

He, and many others after him, stressed on better brooms, gloves, and baskets for these people, but no one spoke of letting them move into another profession. Nobody spoke about doing away with this horror, and making people responsible for their own mess. That, anyway, is a trait that seems hard to find in most human beings nowadays.

For the wonder woman, as I prefer to call her, all this discussion is just a stale stench of political hot air strategically performed before the elections. She will always have toilets to clean and money to earn.

15 years after the government banned manual scavenging [Employment of Manual Scavengers and Construction of Dry Latrines (Prohibition) Act No. 46, 1993], these wonder women, found mostly in small towns and rural areas, have not seen one paise of the government grants that were supposedly set aside for them. Although Rs. 473.80 crore was spent in the name of rehabilitation between 1992 and 1998, only 13.9% of identified workers were trained and only 29.7% rehabilitated.

When interviewed they have appalling stories to relate – how they do not have water to wash their hands in summer, how the rains are even worse because the waste is wet and gets all over their clothes, how they can barely look at food let alone eat it, how they grow thin and waste away due to lack of food, how their children pick up all kinds of diseases and they cannot afford the medical help. Alcoholism is rampant, understandably, because only hard core booze could render them numb enough to do this task. Their children do not go to school. Their girl children tag along with their mothers and eventually take over when their mothers fall prey to rape, death, or disease.

In recent years, though, some of these people are realizing that they do not have to stay this way. They seek help from organizations like the Navsarjan Trust, Janodayam in Chennai, Sulabh International, Garima Abhiyan of Jan Sahas in Madhya Pradhesh, and the Safai Karamchari Andholan in Andhra Pradhesh. According to the last mentioned organization, there are over 13 lakh safai karamcharis (another word for people who clean human waste) cleaning toilets all over India. Of them, 95% are dalits and 80% women. The Ministry of Social Justice and empowerment, though, officially announced in 2003 that there are ‘only’ 676,009 safai karamcharis in India. The rest simply slipped through the wide gaps between truth and politics.

These wonder women, fight against such hardships and have a lingering hope in their hearts that some day their life would be different. Atleast, some day the future of their children will be secure. They wonder if it will ever happen. Hope lies heavily on the actions of the organizations that have taken up their cause, and us who read this post and feel at least a tinge of guilt or sense of responsibility.

This is a long and sad post, but the life of the wonder woman cannot accommodate frivolity or fun. Her life is too long and sad. Maybe she is asking you and me, “Can you help me”?


This post is my entry to the July Write Away Contest over at Scribbit. Have a look here: http://scribbit.blogspot.com/2008/07/julys-write-away-contest.html

Facts and Figures taken from:





I have a theory. Its like this. The high school wall flower always marries the most popular guy in high school! Even more shocking, that nerd in your class – gap-tooth and thick-as-a-wall glasses – will almost certainly date that pretty blond girl whom you always wanted to ask out but never got the vocal chords to cooperate. ( I hate long sentences!)

I am serious, really. This is not a joke. Go for your high school reunion and you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Look at any successful, handsome (remember, your idea of ‘handsome’ is not what it used to be in high school), confident businessman/doctor/scientist/professor, with a beautiful, smart wife. One look and you might think that he was what he is, since the day he was born. Ask him, and he will tell you differently.

He would have been too clever for his class, too geeky for his friends (if he had any), too weird in the eyes of his own parents, and described as too weak or sickly in the doctor’s file.

One closer look, though, if anyone at all had bothered to indulge, would have shown greatness that could rock a high school kids idea of ‘cool’.

He would invariably have possessed the right amount of sense ( a rare thing, indeed), skill, knowledge and street smart-ness to make it as a “successful, handsome. confident man with a beautiful and smart wife”.

The wall flower, not to be outshone, would have bloomed into this gelled-hair,-swept back into a severe knot- smart as hell-top of the corporate/organizational ladder-men eating out of her hands-kind of business woman/teacher/stock broker/lawyer/doctor or any professional she chooses.

And she will attract a handsome, moderately smart, totally devoid of streetsmart-ness, ex-most-popular-guy-in-high school-guy who gets pushed around now in the big bad world where ‘he ain’t no high-school superstar no more’ because he needs someone to tell him “he can do it”. He will approach her because he mistakenly thinks that she was this beautiful and successful all her life. She will accept him, because she can’t believe a handsome guy actually wants to be with her.

Sometimes, just sometimes, a geek-turned-successful professional and a wallflower-turned-successful professional will cross paths, eventually arrive at love (they never fall in love, they never ‘fall’), and decide – with minds analyzing the pros and cons of such a decision, and trying to comprehend the unfamiliar emotions welling up – to stay together for a very long time. Such relationships have the potential for greatness, real greatness, maybe like the Curies.

Disclaimer: This is only a theory that has been partially researched using limited knowledge. the sample universe is a motley group of individuals that do not represent the human race in its entirety. The data is skewed and the results are highly debatable. Consequentially, the derivations are fallible and may be deconstructed to nothing, just like onions. People who were popular in high school are not to assume that it is directed at them. The not-so-popular others also need not take offense, although anyone fitting the favorable descriptions in the above post are encouraged to gloat, brag, and generally burst at the seams with pride while secretly laughing at those unfavorably portrayed. (Today is ‘be mean day’).

Sigh…today has been a day of long sentences…. I have a theory… long sentences usually stem out of suppressed feelings resulting from traumatic events experienced at high school… hmm, must research that.

Next Page »